i know it would be more colourful to write about a wide spectrum of life’s happenings.but my promise of authenticity dictates that i should play the hand i’m dealt with.
as i arrived in the hospital i thought i might meet some friends and we get to pray for Zeke.
there in front of the ICU i saw someone whom I recognised as Dana, his fiancee, just sitting and staring blankly.
“are you Dana? i’m a friend of Zeke. how’s he?”
to which Dana replied “he’s…gone”
no hysterical cries. just the feeling as if time is suspended and the brain questioning how it should process the unwelcome information.
i asked Dana to accompany me into the ICU.
she then pointed me to the ward no. 4, where i could only guess that behind the curtain the nurse is unplugging all the medical equipments from him.
i stood a distance, feeling too chickened to move any closer.
then i prayed.
for someone without prior condition anywhere near tumour or cancer or something as scary, Zeke’s sudden brain hemorrhage is the ultimate reverse of winning a lottery.
last Wed he was just taking a shower after work, and perhaps getting ready to meet her fiancee when the sharp headache attacked and knocked him into a coma.
he didn’t even have a history of high blood pressure.
Zeke is not the only friend i’ve lost. i’ve had a few, to familiar or mysterious illness, car wreck, accidental electrocution, etc.
but his death left me with hollow feelings. as i eat or drink or talk to people i can’t escape the sad thought that Zeke is not able to do all this…
you see, Zeke and i, we’re not that close. but that is exactly what makes the difference.
few months back in a sunny afternoon he called me and asked how i was doing, whether i was seeing anyone, and offered to introduce me to a girl he knew. i joked about him being luckier than i am, for having a girlfriend and preparing to get married soon.
for someone i’m not that close with to care enough about me and actually doing something about it, instead of just shrugging shoulders or feeling pity…that’s why all this hollow feelings come about.
i’ve lost someone who, given more time together, would make a great friend in this life.
can i… be Zeke to someone…
God help me.
thanks for reading.
Grace Alternative 